Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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