just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize