We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My vagina just clenched in fear
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
