Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
