Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
