oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
