shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
