you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So vagazzling was a success
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Couch. On fire.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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