So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
