i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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