I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I want a musical about memes.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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