worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
soo... how was my night?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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