Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
