girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
