Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
