I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
