He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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