I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
