I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
