my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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