I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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