every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think your dad took our porno
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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