You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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