How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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