Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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