Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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