Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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