It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
