There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize