Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
