I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
