So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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