I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
