well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
