I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize