she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
