We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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