ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I skipped work to stalk him.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
