on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
