I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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