So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
