Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
