no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
