yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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