she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
