I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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