quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
