she was so not down for the gang bang
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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