Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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