He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
