Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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