Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
