Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize