if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
