I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
