i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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