Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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