Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
