it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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