eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
