go do what you do best...puke behind churches
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
