Plan B is the new Plan A
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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