I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
