I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
