Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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