Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize